"You speak Turkish funny"-Defne, "Well you speak English funny."-Me

Yesterday was very productive I think.

I'm obviously not glad that E was sick but I am very grateful that we got to spend one on one time together. God has been very good in that there have been odd ways I have gotten to spend time with each of them without the other in the midst of all the chaos of their whirlwind lives and the presence of company.

E and I spent the day watching Sponge Bob, playing wii Cars, kind of playing futbol (mostly practicing kicking inside- I wouldn't let him run around since he's sick), going to the doctor, etc. He slept a good bit too which is when I got to write yesterday. We even looked at pictures of my family on my computer and he was very interested. By the way, Mom, you are "vevy old". (But don't be offended, compared to A any normal American mother would seem old...she can't possibly be over mid-thirties but she dresses even younger.)I could tell he was starting to warm up to me. When we were playing wii and messing around he sat down and said, "I like you." I laughed and said, "I like you too. That's why I call you 'buddy'" and he smiled. Ground. Broken. You have no idea.

A called me yesterday while E and I were upstairs and Vala (Valentina) called up to me but E couldn't translate fast enough what was going on so she ran up to get me yelling "telephone!" and rushing me down. I answered but she was already gone and she called right back. I told her I was upstairs and there had been some confusion and she said, "You came downstairs to get the phone?" "Right" "But where downstairs exactly? The TV room" "Yes, the TV room" "Why didn't Vala just bring the phone to you?" "I couldn't tell you." I don't understand why she asks me these things but she does it often and it always makes me very nervous. Like the other day, E was brushing his teeth and Sheeren stepped in to make him brush his back teeth. When we walked out A said, "Why was Sheeren in the bathroom?" "I don't know, she just walked in." "Yes, but I don't understand why she came in if you were there." "....?" It always feels like she's trying to catch me in a lie but I can't figure out what the lie is! Or that I'm getting them in trouble for something and then I don't want to answer! It's very confusing to me.

Anyway, she gave me instructions on the phone for the medicine she wanted me to give him and reminded me to check the expiration date. I forgot. It completely slipped my mind...I've never checked an expiration date on medicine in my life! (Maybe that's bad, I don't know). And that night she looked at the Tylenol and said, "You didn't check the expiration date. I told you to do check the expiration date." "You're right, I'm sorry." By the way, it expired the very end of December. "Well, this is probably fine...Americans use it up to 6 months after I think. This will be fine." Dodged a bullet with that one. But she explained to me that in America we can do that but with Turkish medicine it isn't safe. Whenever she tells me those things I thank her for saying so because otherwise I will never know...she always says "of course, of course" and it makes me feel better because then I think she understands I'm not an idiot as much as I'm just a foreigner...though to some it is synonomous :) Another example is to turn the light off as soon as you leave the room, even if you are coming back because electricity is very expensive in Turkey. Added to the list of "Good To Know".

It was decided at dinner that Df needed to make a lion costume for her play and A asked me how we should do this. It was intriguing to me that she asked me all these questions as if I was somehow an authority on the subject and as silly as it is, I feel like there is a LOT of pressure riding on this thing. We looked it up online, made a list, drew a picture...the whole nine yards. I'm beginning to feel like the lion costume deserves its own, individual prayer!

After the kids went to bed A and I got to spend some time together. Earlier on the phone she had said, "You mentioned a hair iron. I have one and I didn't have time to go to the hairdresser, can you do it for me?" "Go to the hairdresser?" "No, do my hair." Yikes. "Just straighten it, sure I can." "Wonderful."

So when they were asleep, I was ready to sleep but knew this was probably some more time that was being strangly given to me to bond a little so I told her I was getting some water and asked if she'd like any. She said yes, there are extra glasses up here. "Really? That's very convenient!" "I am sure I told you that when I told you about the water." "You could have, sometimes I go into information overload." She laughed...a very small one. So we sat at the table and talked a bit. I told her about the time at the club when E had shoved me. She was very concerned and told me that that was not acceptable and gave me some very good advice on how to handle that again...as well as when he doesn't respond, won't speak English, etc. so that was very helpful. I also asked her about how she'd like me to handle the situation of nanny-stealing should it arise again. She said exactly as I did before. I asked her if that is normal. "Yes, I've had friends who have stolen all sorts of things...nannies, drivers, things like that." "But why do they do that? Is it too much trouble to go through an agency?" "Not really, they just do it because..." "They can?" Then she looked directly at me with a strange kind of look, as if it was some kind of sad realization... "Yes, they do it because they can." "That makes me very sad." She looked confused. "It makes me very sad that people feel like they need to do those things to each other." She smiled kind of..."Yes, sad." Then we got out her straightner, which she has had three years and used a grand total of three times. She usually just goes to the hairdresser apparently and they fix it however she wants but she didn't have time today. I told her it was too hot to set on their table. "Can you hold it, is it ok for you?" she asked. "Yes, but if I need both hands can you hold it for me for a second." "No" I laughed. "You are always asking me these weird things". I believe she was referring to the time I asked if I could use the iron in addition to the washing machine and she said, "No, that you can't use" It was a fair statement but I never what she is and isn't willing to do for herself! So I straightened her hair and she said, "Want to watch Grey's Anatomy while we do it!" (She bought some illegal CD with this season up until Thanksgiving on it haha. She says it's the first illegal thing she has ever done) So we watched and I straightened and we commented on the characters and it was nice. Then we decided (together!) whether or not E should go to school the next day and she told me where the straightner was for when I wanted to use it. She said, "We will bring it to the mountains and you can use it there! The hotel is nice and dinner is formal, you will like it." (because I told her I like to straighten my hair when I have to look nice) It felt very productive.

I want to say that as many things about A that are unsettling to me, there are many things I admire...she loves to literally sing like no one is listening, she dances in the car with her family, she loves saracasm, she doesn't let people push her around, she is very loving to her children and tries not to spoil them (in the ways that she is aware of anyway). Some different people were telling me that it is chacteristic for one in her position to make the hired help FEEL like hired help and that Turkish women feel the need to be strong and aggressive due to the culture...I'm sure that need is doubled living in the circles she lives in. That doesn't make me like it anymore, but it's a cultural perspective I can learn to respect and deal with accordingly...though I am still slightly terrified of her :)

Well, Vala just told me lunch was ready (I think) so I'll go do that. Love to you.