Fast Cars and Freedom

So I love Cavit. Not in the way you flippantly love people, but I really have a lot a love in my heart for that man.

On my day off last week, I was walking down the huge hill in the heat carrying my overnight bag and A drove right by me in her car, didn't stop or anything, even though we were going the same way. For whatever reason though, it didn't bother me.

However, later, after I had made it down to the main street and was chugging a long, out of nowhere, Cavit pulls up on the sidewalk infront of me and almost runs me over! He had dropped A and came back to find me, God bless him. He's done it before. He says, (in Turkish) "When we were driving, we saw you walking and I asked A if we could get you and she said 'no, keep going'". I just smiled and said "iep" (Shame) and he said, "cok (pronounced choke) cok iep!" (meaning a lot and lot of shame). He was furious. "She's crazy!" He said, waving his hand emphatically in the Turkish sign for "crazy".

I laughed and said, (as best I could), "Yes, she is crazy, but God loves her so I love her too. It's very difficult, but we have to try." He just said I was crazy too, but he smiled.

Anyway, yesterday, he was kind enough to come pick me up from Laura's house and as we were coming up the big, windy hill, in silence (as is our way) he suddenly said, "Do you have a car in the US?"
"Yes"
"Do you want to drive?"
"This car! I can't! And it's been four months!"
He just flicked his hand. "Come on, get out." And gets out of the car in the middle of the road on a huge hill.

So I got out and jumped in the drivers side of their BMW and drove the rest of the way up. It wasn't far and it wasn't much, but for a few minutes I was in control of something. And yeah, it was something small, but it was one of the many normal things at home that signified my own independence and my own identity that I no longer have and took for granted.

He told me I was the new chauffer and was a "supa driver". He laughed about it the whole way up. Anyway, that's all. I just wanted to share. I know it's really silly, but it touched me a lot.
He has a nickname for me now as well- Caitlin Aki (Aki means some kind of dancer).

He has kindness etched in his face. He's one of the things I will miss quite a bit.

Cause what else can you do with 7 itty-bitty men?

Cinderella's on her bedroom floor
She's got a crush on the guy at the liquor store
'Cause Mr. Charming don't come home anymore
And she forgets why she came here
Sleeping Beauty's in a foul mood, for shame
She says, "None for you, dear prince, I'm tired today
I'd rather sleep my whole life away than have you
Keep me from dreaming"
I don't care for your fairytales
You're so worried 'bout the maiden though
You know she's only waiting on the next best thing
Snow White is doing dishes again
'Cause what else can you do With seven itty-bitty men?
Sends them to bed and she calls up a friend
Says, "Will you meet me at midnight?"
The tall blonde lets out a cry of despair
Says, "Would have cut it myself if I knew men could climb hair,
I'll have to find another tower somewhere
Once upon a time in a faraway kingdom
Man made up a story, said that I should believe him
Go and tell your white knight that he's handsome in hindsight
But I don't want the next best thing
So I sing and hold my head down
And I break these walls 'round me
Can't take no more of your fairytale love
I don't care for your fairytales
You're so worried 'bout the maiden though
You know she's only waiting...
Spent her whole life being graded on the sancity of patience
And a dumb appreciation
But the story needs some mending
And a better happy ending
'Cause I don't want the next best thing
No, no I don't want the next best thing

Talk about things to come, sweet dreams and flying machines

Just yesterday morning they let me know you were gone
Suzanne the plans they made put an end to you
I walked out this morning and I wrote down this song
I just can't remember who to send it to.

I've seen fire and I've seen rain
I've seen sunny days that I thought would never end
I've seen lonely times when I could not find a friend
But I always thought that I'd see you again.

Won't you look down upon me, Jesus
You've got to help me make a stand
You've just got to see me through another day
My body's aching and my time is at hand
And I won't make it any other way.

My back turned towards the sun
Lord knows when the cold wind blows it’ll turn your head around
Well, there’s hours of time on the telephone line
To talk about things to come
Sweet dreams and flying machines in pieces on the ground.

Oh, I've seen fire and I've seen rain
I've seen sunny days that I thought would never end
I've seen lonely times when I could not find a friend
But I always thought that I'd see you, baby, one more time again, now
Thought I'd see you one more time again
There's just a few things coming my way this time around, now
Thought I'd see you, thought I'd see you fire and rain, now.

-James Taylor "Fire and Rain"

Robin sent me a fantastic James Taylor mix and I've always loved this song. All last week I was listening to it over and over again because I think it's one of my Turkey theme songs.

I'm too tired to post about Rome now and I think it would be negative anyway...so I won't do it.

I will say God was good last week. Before Italy, one night I sat with A after dinner was over and all the others had left. At first we were just talking about things with the kids but then I started asking her some things about her life and what not and she confided in me! She told me she had starting thinking about quitting work so she could spend more time with the kids, but it was just between the two of us. I told her I would pray for her and she said "yes, do that." I was so excited! Something specific to pray for!

Just now I went in to ask her for tomorrow off but I asked her how her class went first (the one she takes every Wednesday night to get internationally certified) and she said it was fine. I asked her how long she had to do it."Four years."
"One down?"
"Yeah...maybe I should just quit everything."
So we talked about it again and I asked her if she had talked to D yet about it. She said no, that she wants to wait until she knows how she feels about it...which made me sad. I would hope that when I'm married, it's to one of my dearest friends and I will force him to give his opinion on things such as the preferred brand of peanut butter to keep in the house or whether or not my cooking was too burnt...so obviously, I would assume he would be the very first person I would seek out in HUGE LIFE DECISIONS! I asked her if she could talk to some of the people in her class to get their opinion. "but it's my opinion that matters."
"Yes but, they're going through the same thing you are so they relate to where you're coming from. Sometimes it's nice to talk to other people, and besides it's an awful heavy thing to carry all by yourself."
"But if I tell them I might quite and word gets out people become very competitive...so basically, I don't have anyone I can trust."
"well, that's....unfortunate."
Isn't that sad?

And A called Sirin to ask her something and she didn't know and A hung up, "I should have known better than to think she would know something."
"God bless her."
"I don't think so."
"God blesses everyone."
"Yes I do...even the 'slow and useless'".
"Hmph."

I sense turmoil inside her now...and I can't figure out the best way to love her knowing that...especially after just spending five days straight with her, sure itwas enough to have me quit right there.

Praise the LORD!

They went on a boat and left me here for a weekend.
I still don't know why, but I asked no questions.
I was just beyond excited to spend a weekend doing normal things.
I didn't take as many pictures as I was hoping...
none from Saturday night in Taksim which was super fun.
We went to a Cuban bar and it was soooo fun!
But it was all so crazy...
words can't describe.
So I'll just post some pictures :)


So Friday they were gone by like...8:30 and then at nine Laura and I worked out and went to Kavacik to see Patria. We fixed lunch and ate it on her porch. It was lovely!


Friday night I went to Kadikoy for Julianna's birthday (the one in the stripes-she's from North Carolina) and that was really nice. They were all girls from the Christian "community" I've met here so it was a really chill time. We ordered Mexican (which was awful) and chatted around the dinner table and watched the Office. I felt like myself again...getting to meet new people and ask about their lives and be silly and make them laugh. It made my heart so happy.

Then, SUPER long story short, I got locked out of the house at 12:30 am and had to take a taxi over to the European side to meet the staff, who were celebrating freedom and Elyda's birthday. We're not telling A by the way.
I LOVE this picture. Cavit was so cute the whole time. He never stopped smiling...or doing the robot.

This one cracks me up! It's Yilmaz (right before he pulled me up there) and Suzzi (the old nanny). She's soooo tall and he's sooo short!
This was the day I was up a full 24 hours...


So I slept most of Saturday and then Saturday night Laura and I met our friend Levent at Chile's. So anti-climatic when you're wanting real Mexican.


I didn't take any pictures of the rest of Saturday night but it was nice. We met some of their friends in Taksim and went to a couple of clubs before going to a Cuban club which was, hands down, my favorite. It was so great to see Taksim at night...so much life and vibrance. I loved it.
Sunday morning we got up around noon and walked FOREVER.
First to Bebek then to Ortakoy for the Sunday market! I LOVE markets!
I don't love hours walks.

A LOT of jellyfish.

These are some friends of Laura's we met in Ortakoy for dinner.
Alp- poor guy. He just couldn't keep up with the English.
But I got some really interesting Turkish perspectives on Obama from him.


This was Laura's friend Isek.
He was fluent in Spanish, English, French, and Turkish (obviously).
He was pretty funny...total player...but good for a laugh I must say.

Our view from dinner!
Shortly after this, they drove me to Etiler to pick up my stuff at Laura's apartment then I took a taxi back to the house. I got home a little before 9 and the family got home at about 9:30.
Kids in bed by 10:30 (yikes) so I'm hoping to knock them out early tonight.
I want to take a bath.
I wore a tank top today! It was so hot! Yay!

Tomorrow Laura and I are going running, I'm going to come back here and do Wii fit, then we're going to the Kadikoy market to see if I can find some cheap, relatively nice bathing suits. Gotta start stocking up!

Ok...E's TV time is almost up.
Gotta go nanny.

Job App :)

So I was with E on a playdate today and the mother asked if I knew "another me".
She wants a young American (guy or girl) to come stay and travel with them during the summer to watch over the kids and help them improve their English. She said several times it would be light responsbility. They have three people that work in the house already doing basically everything so she said it wouldn't be like a "nanny" job but someone to "just kind of be" as "another member of the household". Not someone who was there for a "job" but for an "experience" and to "build relationships".

She's flexible- anywhere from June 16-to all of August. Or just July, just August, whatever variation would be best for them. The kids are in bed by 9 at the latest she says and they would be free to go out after that. They would have their own room and bathroom. She would pay to fly them here and back and you could decide a sallary together. You would do all of the traveling with them and spend a lot of time down south in Bodrum (that's my guess).

She made it sound like butterflies and rainbows but I have to be honest, I don't know how ideal it would be. Omar is E's age and he is pretty good (I've never had any problems with him at all) but his English is pretty limited and he doesn't even know how to put on his own socks. Ali is his older brother, about 8 or 9 I think and is a total jerk. He's nice to E (sometimes) but beats up on his little brother, is rude to me, and refuses to speak English. So, in good conscious (sp), I couldn't recommend this job to anyone without saying all I know of the situation.

Bottom line, it would be an excellent life experience but I'm 100% sure it would be quite challenging. However, I'll be here and would help in whatever way I could.

SO, if you or anyone you know is interested...let me know and I can tell you more about it.

Say Whaaaat?

Who has dinner parties on Tuesday nights?
I had dinner party nights...it's so loud and the house reeks of cigarette smoke.
It was extra exciting when a pipe in the kitchen busted an hour before guests were supposed to show up.
I also got fussed at for letting E wash his hands in the guest bathroom. "The children aren't allowed downstairs in the living room when we have guests coming!" but yet she lets them stay up later to say hello to everyone...hadi bay.

I set up an account on their wii fit. I've set a 2 kilo goal for the next month and a half. I'll let you know :) I can't decide if the thing is actually effective or not.

They're going on the boat this weekend and leaving me here!!! Ahhh! I'm going to have a normal weekend! One of the girls from the bible study invited me to a birthday party of one of the other girls. I don't feel too comfortable around them to be honest, but I think I should go for the sake of spending some time with other Christians.

Then Saturday during th eday, I don't know. But when Laura gets off Saturday night we're going to go to Taksim! I can't wait to see Istanbul nightlife! Ahhh! Then we're going to sleep at her house (the one she rents on the weekends) and go to the Sunday market in Ortakoy. I'm so pumped.

What I actually wanted to post though was that today, D told me, straight up, "hey, we're going to Rome"

Saaay whaaaat?! We're flying to Rome on the 15th, going with a family on their boat to Capri and some other places, then spending a day in Rome before flying back on the 20th! It's going to be insane and crazy and stressful...but I'm still excited! I'm going to see Rome! Ahhh!

So that's all.
I'm watching He's Just Not That Into You and it's depressing me,
but I'm gonna go finish it.
Loooove.