cause ain't nobody gonna die to
you save that trouble for another day
heyyy we're gonna have a good day"
-Nappy Root "Good Day"
Ok so... the trip back from Austria was much easier than I thought. The kids didn't go to school Monday because we got in past midnight on Sunday night. While D and A were at work Monday I organized the unpacking. I told Sirin which items needed to go to the drycleaners, which needed to be washed, I told Vala which didn't need to be washed but needed to be ironed, I put away everything else...it was so easy I was worried for two days I had done something wrong...but I am yet to be reprimanded so I guess we're ok.
Monday A decided both of the kids needed to go to the doctor because E's nose had been running for three days and had little red bumps around it (?) and Df had some kind of reaction to something and had an itchy rash. The best part was all I had to do was get them ready! I didn't have to go!
Sidestory: So the planride was super easy. I sad with Df and D and they did homework so I got to read the whole time! (Angels and Demons, A loaned it to me, she wouldn't let me take Purpose Driven Life because it was hardback and I might mess it up in my backpack "And besides, we haven't read it yet" like you ever will) And A was sitting across the aisle with E who after he fell asleep too she just read as well and occasionally asked me what certain words meant. Then all of the sudden she leans across the aisle and says, "Caitlin, I think when we get home we should all take medicine."
"What? Why?"
"Because these people behind us have been coughing the whole time. I think they're really sick."
"Hmmm"
Then later in the car she said it again, "I just dont't want the kids' metobilisms to go down"
...?
For her sake, I really hope she meant something about their immunity systems (though that would be incorrect as well)
Anyway, so they left for the doctor at 2:45 and didn't come back until after 6! It was glorious! You know what else was glorious? When we walked in the door Cavit told me I had lots of letters and stuff. I ran up to my room and there sat two letters, two packages, and my big box from home! It was like Christmas. I couldn't help myself...I opened the letters and packages that night. The letters were wonderful as usual and I got Valentines Day candy in one package and a MIXED CD (with instructions...the best kind!) in the other! It was so great. Then all Monday Sirin kept asking, "When are you going to open the box?" And I said I was waiting til the kids left. As soon as they did I yelled, "Box time!" and Cavit, when we couldn't find scissors, helped me tear it open with a knife. "Whoa" we said at the same time. There was so much food!
But I dug for Greensleeves first. "Teddy" he said and laughed. Then I grabbed the bag of assorted chocolates that was originally meant for E and a box of traveling packs of Oreos and took them downstairs. "This is for you and Sirin and Vala" I told him. He tried to argue but I said no and left. I am now the proud owner of double stuffed oreos, wheat thins, ritz bitz, two seasons of Friends, stationary, books, granola cereal, sheet music, some other random things, and Greensleeves of course :) I unloaded everything and hung some things up on my wall from my letters. It was so exciting, I'm really starting to feel like this place is mine. I don't care that it's a closet, it's MY closet! Then I went downstairs with my sheet music and set up camp...I played all kinds of things for a while-Josh Groban, old recital pieces, worship music...then all of the sudden the door bell rang and someone walked in to the bathroom. I kept playing because I thought it was Cavit or something but then A's father walked in. I don't know if I've mentioned it yet but I'm a little afraid of her parents. They're so Turkish...and so rich. A combination still very foreign to me.
I immediately picked up all my music and started to leave...
"No, keep playing."
"No no...I don't play anymore. I'm rusty."
"It would be better than akward silence. Let the music continue."
And with that he sat down in the dark behind me. Creeper
"Well at least let me turn on the light" so I got up and turned it on then sat back down at the bench shaking...I HATE playing for people. I hate it. Especially this guy, his wife is way into music and he'd know bad playing when he heard it. I would finish a song and sometimes he'd say something, sometimes he wouldn't. He answered his phone once so I thought that was my out but as soon as he hung up he said, "It's very nice, continue."
I played until I ran out of music. "That's all I have"
"Don't you have something memorized. You must have more!"
"No, I'm sorry, I don't."
So before he could argue I asked him how his day was which led into what he does for a living which led into travel which led into suggestions for me which led into what I wanted...
"Ah yes, so public transportation. Do you have any recommendations?"
He actually gave me some good ones, I just need a map now so I can figure out how to use them. I offered him the television upstairs but he told me to use it so I sat and watched TV as he played hearts on A's computer...it was kind of awkward. I was actually relieved when I heard the family come in downstairs.
I met them at the door. Df yelled, "E has to stay home for two days!"
WHAT?! He just had a runny nose!
"And I have to get my tooth pulled!"
The rest of my night was dedicated to learning all the new medications to administer for Df's rash and E's bacterial infection. It was a long night and the next day was no better...
I got Df up for school with very little problems but my day with E was HORRIBLE. Six trantrums AT LEAST, sometimes for no reason at all. Once, Sirin told him something to tell me and he got irate, "No! How many times to I have to say? I'm tired of saying things over and over again!" and he went to the top of the stairs, screaming. "E, I will not play with you while you are behaving this way. Let me know when you have calmed down."
Once I left he screamed for Cavit, then Sirin, then Vala. I told all of them not to respond when he was screaming. Another time later in the kitchen, he did it again and Sirin and Vala went after him and he ran yelling from the room. I looked at Vala very sternly and said, "Hiyer" (No.) She widened her eyes at my tone, "Tomom" (ok) and ran after Sirin, telling her I didn't want them interfering, so that was progress. I've never had such angry feelings toward a kid but trust me, they were there. The knowledge I wasn't getting paid for this crap certainly didn't help.
I don't remember much about the rest of the day but after I got the kids in bed I came out to the TV room where A was and straight up said, "Today was difficult."
She looked up, "tell me about it."
So I sat down and said, "I have never worked with a child who throws tantrums as frequently as E does, especially at his age, it isn't normal. I don't even know what will set him off anymore"
And we talked about it a while. It was an interesting conversation. She was very attentive-maintained eye contact the whole time and didn't look at me with any judgement. Her opinions on things were intriguing- some I thought were very valid and others I disagreed with but ultimately, they are her children and I have to learn that even though I'm the ones that deal with them the most...it can only be my way so much and still be effective. What I liked most that she said was that, "You seem to see things in black and white with children. You are wrong there. They aren't dogs." Direct hit. It's so true. She gave me some examples and we talked about it and she told me she had pulled E aside in Austria and said, "I brought Caitlin because I trust her. She is your au pair now and you have to listen to her" I told her that might need to be reiterated. She can't mediate every time he runs to her. She isn'there and she doesn't know the situations, she agreed. I also liked where she pointed out, "Witholding privledges from a child when they misbehave is fine as long as they know you aren't withholding love. It needs to be clear that the BEHAVIOR is bad, not their CHARACTER" so we talked about way to put that into effect.
I went to bed feeling ok about it, not great but pretty good. The next morning I got Df off to school and before E got up I prayed A LOT. I asked other people to as well so I attribute the day to that, nothing I did. But not one tantrum! I will say, I think God spoke to me yesterday...finally. A ended up staying home all morning with us. The three of us played a game together and I think it was progress too. It was good for E to see A and I interact and it was good for me to see them interact. As the rest of the day progressed I tried to think about why it was going better and I realized it was because I was faking it more since A was always in the next room. Ok so, now I know it's not all E's fault... I'm not putting forth as much effort as I could then I thought so to make this better I should just always act as if A is in the next room.
Then a voice said in my head, "Caitlin, why don't you act like I'm in the next room?"
My heart broke. A is my boss, but I don't serve her. I serve the Lord and I have forgotten that. It's like I thought for some reason because these people don't know Christ they won't care if I act like I do or not...and they won't. But it's THAT MUCH more important. I couldn't stop apologizing to God.
The three of us left at 3 for a birthday party E was going to. It was like a Chuck E Cheese type thing...he was the the third kid there and it was pretty quiet. "I hope you don't get bored" A said.
"I brought a book".
I can be pretty dumb sometimes.
As if I could read. Within twenty minutes about a MILLION kids showed up and it was chaos from there on out...not awful or anything...just chaos. I will say the biggest drawback was having so many of the mothers in one place...something about how they dress and smell and all...it made me dizzy having them so concentrated in one place. But at least E got to get out of the house and get out some energy. I spent that party, and the rest of the night being as passive as possible because I was determined to keep it a CLEAN DAY...not one tantrum.
I got the kids in bed early that night, as per request of A and D was home so that helped a lot. I spent the night finding sermons off of iTunes with the very generous help of many. A had told me I'm taking the kids to a movie on Friday all in Turkish so I should take my iPod. Then I skpyed with some people I hadn't gotten to yet and it was MAGICAL. A got home from her class and I went out to say hello. She said she had noticed today was better. This morning I got the kids up and A got up to be motherly (she does that sometimes) and once we got them off I told her I was going back to bed...I realized today was Thursday, my SUPPOSED day off and she hadn't even mentioned it. My days were all screwed up so I thought it was Wednesday...too late now. "You finally get to relax now huh?" she asked as I cleaned up after the kids.
"It's about time."
"Oh...that's true" for the first time realize how long it had been. I was too tired to go into it so I think I'll try tonight.
I went back to bed for several hours, woke up, took a BATH, listened to some short devotionals I'd downloaded, fixed some lunch, did a day in the Purpose Driven Life, read the Bible, video chatted with Charry!, caught up with Laura (who is home now and I think we're going to make plans for next week!), and now I'm here...because I promised some people an update :)
Today's lesson in the Purpose Driven Life was on how life isn't about the here and now...eternity is what will count the most. I realized what I need to be doing is STOP living as if this is permanent and START treating it as what it is: a blink of an eye in the grand scheme of things and a tremendous growing opportunity. I need to just draw as close to God as humany possible and allow him to shape me. It's really painful but if it wasn't...it wouldn't be growing. So that's my new plan...more dedication to keeping God in the equation. He has been so good to know, how can I keep leaving him out? I'll need pray for that :)
Anyway, I need to go get a snack and see if I can somehow ask Cavit to take me to the grocery store tomorrow. Also, I'm going to try to download pictures soon...but the kids will be home in a few minutes so I can't promise anything.
Love to you all...
thanks for all the support...
again :)
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