I Am I Said

So it's been quite a while...but it's been so crazy I haven't had any time to myself at all...
even now as I type this E is watching Garfield. Maybe this will be better though because it will force me leave out all the nitty gritty details which I have a tendency to throw in...often.

So the day of preparing for the trip sucked pretty bad, if I'm being honest. A had asked me to lay out all their clothes (as if I would know what is best for this place I've never gone to in my life) which I did and she said she would get up in the morning and go over it so it could be packed during the day. Well, she decided to sleep late, coming out of her room ten minutes before she left and looked at everything exclaiming, "this is all wrong. What were you thinking? I don't have time for this."
Well, if you had pulled yourself out of bed on time like you were supposed to, we wouldn't be having this problem.
So she left and I spent the whole day dreading the night. Then for whatever reason, E was awful all day...lots of fits and what not. I tried to bathe him and he freaked out, wanting to call his mother. Which I did and she said how unusual this was and I said, "it's not actually, it's quite normal. He does this everytime."
"Well, you should do..." and proceeded to tell me the ways I should be going about bath time...all of which I was doing and I told her so.
"Well, then I think we need to talk about how you guys communicate because clearly there is a problem."
"I agree."

Df wasn't her best either and I hadn't been away from the kids in days and days. Then Cavit came out and pulled a letter out from behind his back. Yay! Then another one! Then ANOTHER ONE! I was so happy to have a piece of home at that moment I started tearing up...and when Sirin saw she held me quickly, stroking my hair and refusing to let go when I tried to pull away prematurely in a way only a mother knows. "It's ok," she said over and over again. That just made me cry harder. It was really embarassing. Cavit stepped out of the room, I believe out of respect for the fact he knew I wouldn't want him to see me like this. The kids kept asking what was wrong and Sirin explained they were happy tears and I sneaked off to my room to read them.

It was magical. Ryan Day, Alyssa Burger, and Richard Johnston have no idea what they did for me that day. Receiving there love and words of encouragement was God's way of giving me my juju back! I picked up the phone right then and called A to inform her we would need to find time to talk immediately about some bumps in the road.

Of course, that didn't happen as they didn't start packing until 8, no one could find the kids thermals, I didn't supervise the packing correctly..."I told you to be watching Caitlin."
"I was, can you please just ask Vala.."
"No, figure it out. This was your fault...have fun!"
I was stunned. As she walked away Vala stroked my cheek and told me not to worry. Then she picked up Df's ski helment and put it on and saluted towards A's room with a stern face.

Long story short, we weren't done until midnight then I had to pack my own bag and then I got up at six to shower and iron some clothes. Then we were off. The flight wasn't bad and thankfully, I wasn't forced to sit by the kids. I was in the middle of A and a very nice boy not much older than me from Russia who was very kind and conversational and helped me take my coat on and off. And it worked out well because A turned to me and said, "We didn't get to talk, let's talk now."
And I told her how helpful it would be if they could speak in English some more around me. I told her I understood that though many Turks knew English, they didn't like to speak it and I respect that and ...
"Yes, but it's not our language. If we spoke it all the time if would be like having a visitor in our house all the time."
"I understand and I wouldn't ask that. Maybe just at meal times or something so I can gage how you interact with the kids and see what your expectations are with them."
I gave her an example of how like Df and A joke by Df ignoring her sometimes then responding in a mock valley girl accent something like "Oh whatever, I don't want to, you'll have to wait,"
I told her if I spoke to my mother like that I would have gotten in trouble because it is considered disrespectful but...
"Yes, but I have a conversation with her about that and told her we could joke sometimes but ultimately she can't speak to me like that because I am her mother....it was all in Turkish of course but..."
"Then I wouldn't have understood that now would I?"
I also told her that itwould help the kids feel encouraged to speak in English as well because though they speak to me directly in Turkish, when they argue and what not it's in Turkish and I can't mediate because I don't know what's going on.
"They know to speak in English around you."
"Yes, but you are their example...and what makes them think it's necessary when you tell them to speak in English then only do so yourself when speaking directly to me. Now I'm just a stranger you've dropped in their life and said, "here, speak English with them when you can."
"I don't agree that is the case."
"That's ok, you don't have to. I'm just saying, my life would be much easier and I would be able to do my job much better for you if I knew you as a family instead of people seperately who just speak to me on occasion."
"Ahhhh" it was weird...it was like all the sudden she understood. "I see, so it's like you speak to them during the day but when we're all together it's like you're living in two differents worlds."
"Exactly, it is very difficult and a little lonely honestly."
"I see, yes we should make an effort."
Then we talked about how she isn't a fan of rules but the ones she has have no slack...so that was good I guess. Then later, after we went through passporte and (they asked if A and I were sisters...) we had gotten our car she told me, "I talked to D about what you said and he said, 'she is right' and we are really going to try." Then in the rental she told the kids and everyone spoke in English. It was weird at first because I felt like I had to listen to every little thing since I wasn't used to it not being directed at me...but then it was nice. Granted, I think it might be short-lived but at least the foundation is layed so I can hold her accountable when we get home.

Anyway, after we loaded our ten suitcases we drove two hours to Salzberg (we had flown into Munich) and ate a late dinner at the hotel. The service was awful and I the tables had definitely turned...the waiters (who didn't only speak Dutch) spoke English so the kids didn't understand why they didn't respond to their Turkish. Ha! However, the other nanny (with their friends) didn't speak anything but Turkish so I was mediating all night and we didn't get into bed until like...11. I was sharing a room with them but it was lofted so I still had my own space.

The next day, I got them up for breakfast and took them down until D and A rolled out of bed (they had gone out at night). I can't remember much else about that day...oh yeah, they had some friends with a family house there so we went to play at a park infront of their house (which was cold and snowy) then went into town for lunch at a place that apparently served the best sausages in the world...they were ok. Then we drove by the Sound of Music house! (pictures to come later) then back to the park. See, the family house and one big one and one little one and the kids were now ordered to eat dinner in the little while the adults ate at the big...I am amazed by how little time they manage to spend as a family on these family vacations.

So we stayed at the park...me freezing to death in shoes that were NOT snow proof because we aren't supposed to be in snow until Lech (but A didn't know so it's no one fault) and when the nanny at this house saw my feet she made us go inside. I was very grateful. Then she fixed me some tea and all the kids played until dinner. She was an interesting kind of person. She was Russian and spoke a little English...she wasn't a very good nanny to be honest. She was very slovenly looking and let the kids play with the 8 month old like a toy and never wiped the forever running nose of the sick two year old. She never watched them when they left the room...even with the babies. It made me very nervous.

What was interesting was when "Papi" came over to say hello. He was this large, coughing man in a wheel chair with a heavy dutch accent and the nanny explained to me that he likes to come say hello to the children when there's guests. So all the children say hello (they give him their hands and he kisses them) then I do the same and he says, "No, you are beautiful, kiss my cheeks." then he makes me take a picture with him before offering me wine.
I turn to go upstairs with the kids and the weird nanny says, "No please, stay and talk to Papi"
so I did...which was interesting to say the least before heading upstairs. (Papi made me kiss him again before he left..coughing like a maniac the whole time).

Finally, the parents showed up and one of them told the kids they could have a 30 minute PJ Party in our room...though it was already way past their bedtime. Are you kidding me?
A looked at me, "Just what you wanted to hear, right?"
I made a face, "You have no idea how excited I am" She laughed pretty hard.
It wasn't so bad though because the Turkish nanny said she'd watch them so I could shower so then I did and then got them and put them to bed and it wasn't too too bad. It felt strange living in a room with them and being in charge of everything...like their mother.

We eft the next morning at about 10:30 or 11 for the three and a half hour drive to Lech. I think there would be a good stopping point for now...
it's way too much information.

Love to you from Austria...
sorry it took so long.