"I hate to say...but they are rude."

I've decided to make a conscious effort to get more sleep. So it's 9:30 now. I'm going to do a quick blog...you know, for poops and giggles (and to finish my green cinnamon tea)...get ready for bed, and READ BY BOOK and sleep by 10:30/10:45. That is one thing I will say I have loved about being here- I've already read THREE books! When I was in school I read that in a YEAR!

Anyway, the book I'm reading now is called a A Voice in the Wind by Francine Rivers (the same woman who wrote Redeeming Love) It's about a Christian girl named Hadassah who was sold into slavery after the destruction of Jerusalem by the Romans. I am really enjoying it and though I don't see myself as anywhere near the status of a slave, I can tell the Lord is really speaking to me through the parallels in this book. Here's a part that I thought, very eloquently, worded how I feel some days:

They needed the Lord, and yet she lacked the courage to tell them of the wondrous and miraculous things she knew. She tried but the words stuck in her throat; fear kept her silent [...] Hadassah saw the wealth and comfort the Valerians enjoyed as a curse on them. Because of those things, they felt no need for God. They were warm, well fed, and beautifully clothed and sheltered. They enjoyed rich entertainment and were served by a large retinue of slaves. Only Pheobe worshiped a god at all, and her devotion was to stone idols who could give nothing back to her, least of all peace and joy. Hadassah shook her head sadly. How do you reach people who feel no need or desire for a Savior? she wondered. God, what do I do to make them see that you are here in their garden, that you dwell in their house, if not in their hearts? I am helpless. I am a coward. I am failing Julia, Lord. I am failing them all. Beneath the smiles and laughter, they are lost. Oh God, how great though art. Not all the gods and goddesses of Rome can raise on soul from th dead as you have done. And yet they will not believe."

Today the most wonderful thing happened. I went with E on a playdate to a friend of his from pre-school and the nanny was Philopino (which means gaurenteed English). We got to talking after the kids got settled and it was such a wonderful conversation. She told me her story about how she had worked for this family for six years and was so lucky that her husband could work for them as well. She has three children at home, 6,7,8 years old, who she visits for a month a year. She says it is very difficult but they are very understanding. When she calls them they say, "We miss you very much but are very thankful because you are sending us to such a good school." She told me what an adjustment it is to live among the Turkish people and it made me feel better to know that it isn't just an American/Turkish divide...but the things that bother me so are obvious to others as well. Currently, I am up to France, New Zealand, England, and the Philopino that all agree that Turks are jealous, untrustworthy, superficial, cold, and severely lacking in consideration and compassion. What warmed me most was when she said, "I am very thankful to God that he has allowed my husband and I to be together through it." Then we talked openly about the struggles we have gone through spiritually and what it has meant to us. It was so refreshing and something about her radiated warmth. I would say it was the fact that if I were to combine my friends Stephanie Davis and Charry Lee, she would be this woman...which made me love her instantly.

Her story was beautiful. She said after two years she was finally comfortable with saying things like "God Bless You" and praying before meals. Then when the family would speak of problems or sick family members she would tell them, "I will pray for you." and at first they thought it was strange but them when family members would come through surgeries well or something like that they would say, "It's your prayers! It is a miracle." And she would just say, "You need only believe in God like that too. It isn't me." and now they come to her and ask her for prayers! The grandmother has even started reading the Bible! Can you imagine?! It was such an encouarging story, it made my stomach flip with joy and the way the Lord can work but also, the nasty human side of me was a bit jealous. If only I could be that brave, if only I could effect people in that way. But we're not supposed to compare faiths I suppose.

Anyway, it was wonderful and we exchanged numbers before leaving. I was playing with the kids when A came home. "Caitlin! How are you?" She touched my shoulder. "I feel like I haven't seen you in so long!"

"I know, we just miss each other often now." Usually intentionally on my part...:-/

I think she was about to complain about how frequently I'm gone now but thankfully, Df interrupted. I hope it isn't an issue...it's the only thing that is leaking hope into the situation...knowing I can be gone all day if I so choose. But I was surprised she was so happy to see me to be honest...even if it was fake. AND the other night, I walked in and her mother was here and she immediately said, "Hello Catelin, how are you? How is your flu? Are you better?" I was shocked. Then she and her sisters asked me repeatedly if I was SURE I was no Italian. It was a friendly, light-hearted exchange and I was very excited for it. I know things are getting better when things like that happen, I just have to learn to appreciate them and dwell on those things instead of the others.

Well, anyway, I better go if I plan to sleep early. I'll leave you with a picture or two :)

On the top, we have a picture of the bridge I cross to get to Laura's. On a nice day, it's a lovely view. On a regular day, it's filled with trash and smellies.

On the bottom, we have the window through which the rich view Turkey. I rode over to the other side one morning to drop the kids off for school on their friend's boat. This is pulling away.