Closing Time

"Every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end".

Again, out of laziness, I will copy my email to family:


So we've been in Bodrum for six days and today is the first I've been able to use internet. Damar bought a wireless thing for me to use, praise God. I really feel like I've started going crazy being this out of touch and having no friends or anyone my age...well, all the men that work here are my age but let's not even go there. So OVER the staring. I don't even look overtly NON-Turkish.

So it was actually quite fine to start with, Damar didn't come with us because he had to go to Switzerland so just Asli and the kids and I flew in but she left the next morning before we got off to go on a boat trip with friends. Their house is very cute, much like a country house out of Southern Living. I've taken pictures. All white with blue accents. Emre and I are sharing a room which is nice...we get along so well it's hardly an inconvenience excluding the lack of privacy. I'd rather that though than sharing a room with Defne...she is so unbearable when we leave Istanbul. I can't figure out what it is but I just want to snap the sass right off her face.

Illayda is here to cook and clean and we've made a good team. Their grandmother is a few houses down so she pops up in on occasion. Yesterday she told me she spoke to Asli on the phone and told her how happy she was with me. "I am, I really am. I really trust you. I really trust you a lot. It's important" so that was nice and appreciated. This is Asli's mother too! So actually, playing mother to the kids was waaaaaaaaay easier than having the actual mother around. Fights were minimal between the two, manners improved, consistency availed, etc. I've even taught Emre how to give himself his own shower. I don't even have to be there!

Damar came home yesterday but it was late at night and he was gone before we woke up so it didn't effect much. Asli came home this afternoon and brought our peaceful living to a crashing halt. I can't understand why it doesn't bother her that everyone else around her kind of sinks a little at her presence. That would not bring me joy. It's amazing the way she can pick everything apart the SECOND she appears on the scene. It was making me grateful for the boat trip tomorrow because it would mean I wouldn't be questioned about everything here...only to find out we aren't leaving until Tuesday (if at all according to Damar) because of weather. So that means twelve more days in this place with these people and I literally can feel my brain being sucked out of my skull. It's very unpleasant.

In the beginning, telling myself it was just two more weeks was very helpful, but lately, it just makes it harder. I can't explain why. I want to finish strong but I'm having to fight apathy and resentment REAL hard. People shouldn't live like this. And I feel these adults are doing their children great disservices in the way they are raising them.

Anyway, I don't know how often I'll be able to use the internet so I just wanted to check in and say that I am in fact, still alive...barely. Please keep me in your prayers, that I would finish as a servant of the Lord and not of myself.

Mom and Dad, call me on my cell sometime. I'd like to hear your voice.

Love from Bodrum,
the buttcrack of Turkey,
Caitlin


Ok, I think I've exposed myself to the mosquitos on the terrace for longer than is healthy now.
Good night.